When I got pregnant for the first time I was scared and excited at the same time. Like a typical pintrest loving woman I wrote “we are going to have a baby” on my belly and gave my husband a surprise. It was great! He even had tears in his eyes and was dying of excitement. The next 9 months were all about getting ready to have the baby, ordering clothes, eating healthy, getting bigger, making through everyday.
But what no one told us was how hard it will be once the baby is here…Our lives actually changed. Completely.
We stopped meeting friends without kids. Actually they stopped meeting us. And I don’t blame them because what when we became parents we weren’t the same. We were fun parents but not fun friends. It was like karma came back to haunt us; it reminded me of the times when we didn’t make the effort of meeting our friends with kids when we didn’t have any. But that is the amazing part of jumping the fence, you join other parents and they happily take you in with open arms; no questions asked.
Once Kebir came and we lost our ‘no children friends’ we got down to parenting. Fortunately our son was a very easy child. He started sleeping on his own and self feeding fairly quickly. But part of being a new parent is that you wake up every few … minutes to check if your child is breathing and moving. Once they crawl you check if they are not eating insects from the floor. Once they start walking you make sure they don’t fall too hard. Once they start running you make sure they don’t run out the house and off to the road. The first trip to emergency is nerve wrecking. You constantly worry they will get abducted or something. Its gets worse when there are 2! (more on that later)
Dont get me wrong. I loved every minute of being a mum to Kebir. But it is true I missed working, my friends, movie nights and dinner dates with hubby. And I felt guilty about it. Because as a mother your life should only revolve around your child, you should constantly be worried about their well-being and not yours. Right? The answer is a BIG fat NO!
The worrying is exhausting. You keep wondering if you are doing this parenting thing right. It is very hard to stop worrying, but you must stop. You are doing it not only right, but you are doing an amazing job! And you need to live a little. Go back to work if you feel like. Get dad to babysit and go out with friends. Get friends to babysit and go out with your partner. There are a million options!
But remember the kids will grow up too fast, and to enjoy them you need to enjoy yourlife first.
P.S. Don’t feel guilty when you stop worrying so much. It’s good for you.